I've conquered my fear of Vapo-rub...

Strange title to a post, I know, but up until about three weeks ago I hated anything greasy that contained menthol and camphor (Vicks, Mentholatum, the off brand stuff). Why? Because when I was a kid my parents were huge fans of the stuff, my Dad especially. I'm always warm all the time anyway. When everyone else is freezing with 47 blankets piled on, I've got my feet sticking out the end of the bed. I was no different as a kid. However, when I got sick, it was always worse but logically Mom and Dad didn't want me to get a chill so they'd throw an extra blanket or two on my bed...but that wasn't the bad part.

First I had to put on my long johns. Not the nice soft ones they make now that are nice and cozy, but so thin you hardly even know they are there. No, these babies were the off-white square patterned ones that have a texture somewhere between burlap and 80 grit sand paper. I HATED them and they made me itch. I'd bravely put on the bottoms, grumbling to mom that I didn't like them. Before the top went on she'd send me in to see my Dad for the Vapo rub down. I'm sure mom didn't put it on me because she's way too nice and if I'd complained she probably would've wiped it all off. Not to say that my dad isn't nice, but it didn't matter how much you bitched, if it was going to help you, he was going to do it.

I'd go in to see my dad, bottle of Vick's or Mentholatum in hand (whichever one we had) and he smear it all over my chest. Not the nice little soothing glaze that you see them put on the kids in the commercials, where mom's smiling and so is the kid who's getting it put on them. Dad would put that crap on about 1/4 of an inch thick. He might as well have used a putty knife. I could've written my name on my chest and been able to see it for a couple of days if I left it uncovered. I'd be crying or complaining or both by the end of it.

Mom would come in and put the long john top on (which would promptly fuse itself to the goo that was on my chest) - causing more discomfort- and heat, then tuck me into bed. After the lights were off I'd kick off as many covers as I could get away with because I was already beginning to feel like a space heater. At which time the fumes would hit...

By the time I was in bed and had finally gotten rid of the extra blankets, the 1/4 inch of vapo rub had had time to soak through my long johns and instead of the "soothing" vapors that clear your nose and give you the warm fuzzies, being under the covers had given them time to concentrate into noxious fumes that turned my snot as well as most of the hair in my nose to dust. Then my eyes would start watering, then burning. Because I had previously been pulling at my shirt which was fused to my chest at this point, I had Vapo-rub all over my hands. But when you are six and your eyes start burning you rub them. So I did and an all knew sort of hell began...

So as you can see, I had very traumatic experiences with the Vapo-rub. The other week though, Ryker got the flu. While I was at the store picking up a variety of goodies to try to make him better, I ran across the dreaded Mentholatum. After my goosebumps had subsided, I remember something I'd read on those chain emails that may or may not be true. It said if you rub it on someones feet who is sick and put socks on they will sleep better. So I thought, "What the hell, we'll try it." Needless to say it worked wonders. Ryker woke up the next morning professing the best sleep he'd had in as long as he could remember. One week after his flu was gone he was still using it and finally decided to stop in case it was possible to get immune to the wonderful effects. I finally broke down and tried it (without socks of course - my feet get too hot) and it worked great! Best sleep I've had in a long time. I tried it on Brodee this week because he had a cold, worked great. So, if you're sick, try the Vapo-rub on your feet before you go to bed. I guarantee you will sleep like a baby and if you have any lingering bad memories of Vapo-rub from childhood like me, it might even help you get over those too.